Thoughts from Panera.

As many who know me best can attest, I am one of the shiest, most awkward human beings ever. When I was younger I was very outgoing and made friends everywhere I went. I could spend two hours at the park and leave having made a new best friend. I guess that probably changed around sixth grade. Puberty starts kicking in and everyone gets awkward and weird and apparently I never grew out of it. All of high school I had the same couple of friends. When I graduated high school I got a job and started school at a community college. My friends moved away for college, my friends that stayed began changing and even became divided over my recent break up, as they were friends with us both. I basically had one good friend left. At this point, most people would try to make some new friends. But I would spend all day at school and all night at work and never speak to, or hardly look at, anyone. Fast forward two years. I graduated community college and went on to a four-year university. I requested a friend I already knew as my roommate and my boyfriend- now husband - went there. I stuck close to these two and barely made any new friends. Fast forward another two years and I graduated from college knowing a few people, but having the same amount of close friends as I went in with.

Then I married my husband, a Marine. I knew my life would from that point on be consumed with moving from place to place, having to constantly be fostering new relationships as people go out of my life just as quickly as they come into it. It was this aspect of military life, above all else, that scared me. I dreaded the superficial "getting-to-know-you" talk and the long periods of awkward silence waiting to be filled when conversing with a stranger. I moved to Florida after my wedding and spent six months in solitude, only venturing out when my husband made arrangements to visit with his friends, only some of which had wives or girlfriends for me to talk to. Even still, the majority of these girls weren't people that I could form meaningful relationships with. We had nothing in common and so many of them were content to just be at home and take care of their husbands.

In April we moved from the city out to a small, rural town much like where I grew up. We began attending church regularly and found the warmest, most welcoming church family I have ever experienced. They immediately made us feel welcome and began investing in us and sharing opportunities with us to develop a sense of ownership there. I also began attending wives groups, and though it was awkward I was able to meet some girls that I have become really great friends with.

Through getting to know these girls and the people at our new church I've began to realize that I've greatly missed the experience of getting to know new people. While I absolutely love all of my friends back home, I'm beginning to enjoy getting to experience different people. I know all of my old friends so well that some of the excitement of our relationships has kind of died out. I have began to step out of my comfort zone and spend time with people I don't know. Just last week a stranger contacted me, a fellow Marine wife who had found me through a spouses page on Facebook, and I offered to meet her for coffee-and actually did! I guess this post is just a long way of saying I am so glad that God has begun to show me the way to getting over being timid by demonstrating how rewarding and exciting it can be to meet new people. I'm becoming incredibly thankful for the opportunity to move around so much and experience new places and new people so often. Being shy is a character trait I definitely can't afford to keep living this lifestyle.