Reflections

This morning J is gone doing his Christmas shopping and I am home alone, reflecting on the horrific events that yesterday held. I cannot begin to fathom the pain that the parents and loved ones of those who lost their lives must be feeling. I cannot imagine being caught up in the joy of Christmastime one minute and then next finding out that I would never see my child again, never again be able to hold them or hear their laugh.

I don't generally post about current events because A) everyone already knows about it and B)I usually have nothing to say that hasn't been said better by someone else. But this, this is different.

Everywhere I look, Facebook, the news, the papers, people are contemplating what kind of sick person could possibly do such a horrible thing. How could someone be able to go into a school and take the lives of children who have barely had a chance to live?

And while I understand those questions, this morning as I reflect I find myself drawn to others who were there that day. Not the criminal, not the students, not the parents, but the teachers.

So often in our world today we hear about teachers and school employees only because they too have committed some formidable act against a child. They are found to have raped and molested children, had inappropriate relationships with students, gotten caught up in scandal in their personal lives. And again we find ourselves asking what kind of person does those things?

But in light of yesterdays events I ask the question what kind of person goes to work with their lesson plan prepared for the day and instead puts their life on the line to protect their students? A heroic one, that's who. I have great respect for teachers any day, but there are stories coming out everywhere of the teachers yesterday who put themselves between their students and the bullets, who risked and lost their lives to protect those precious, young students they spent every day nurturing. I read one story of a young teacher who directed all of her students into the tiny bathroom in her classroom, placed herself against the door and repeated to them over and over "I love you" because she didn't want the last thing those children heard to be gunshots. This is the kind of woman that causes me to look beyond these terrifying things that happen and see that there is still goodness and beauty in our world. This is the kind of woman that gives me hope.

I read something on Facebook that quoted Morgan Freeman's opinion about the senseless shooting. He made the argument that these deranged individuals choose to do such horrific things because of the way the media portrays them, because their name will be remembered for what they have done, that we don't hear news stories focused on the victims because that's not what sells. While that may or may not be true, I do wholeheartedly agree with what he said next. "You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim instead. "

And that is my goal. In the days, weeks, and months following this tragedy I'm going to focus on the children and their families, and even more so, the teachers who gave their lives to defend innocents. I refuse to give power to the monster that did this. I will not remember his name.

J and I went to see The Hobbit last night. There is a scene where Gandalf the Grey is being asked why he chose a small, insignificant hobbit for such a great journey. What Gandalf says in reply has been resonating in my mind ever since. He replies "Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check. That is not what I have found. I have found that it is the small things, every day deeds from ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay - simple acts of kindness and love." 

May we live with intention, remember the heroes, and know that it is the light within each of us that will keep the darkness at bay.